Today I had a genuine thought that I think one day I should marry Zhongli. I'm not even a yumeshipper I was just thinking the same way
best friends promise to marry eachother if they're still single by 30. Except I'm already going to live with my best friends, just without
a partner which just has had me thinking lately. I don't want this post to be read in a depressing light, it's not my intention, but I'm
getting over a recent break up. Well. I think at most it's had me reflecting on a lot
of stuff, not really that I'm greiving. That's just to say I've had my own fair share of breakups and relationships, enough so that I can sort of confidently
decide where to go from here.
What I wanted to say is that I just don't see myself getting into a relationship ever again. I like falling in love. Actually
I love falling in love, I love the feeling of crushing and romantic tension and all those cliche moments that follow. I just
don't think I have the focus and energy to be in a relationship. I like being able to do things on my own and come back and
update my loved ones or spend a lot of time close with my friends and it's not like the people I dated *weren't* my friends
it's just that I enjoy the freedom.
I think my perception of a lot of things relationship wise is warped after
my abusive one but that's even more of a reason why I shouldn't be in another one. I'm NOT letting that experience impact
my decision to not date anymore I just find I feel better being out of a relationship, abusive or not. Sometime's I'll read
romance and I'll miss the really intimate moments like making out or just. being really close. physically. But it's not anything
I yearn I kind of just like... "Oh I liked doing that I guess" but no amount of this feeling is going to make me feel any
different on the fact I just love spending time with my friends more than any future relationship I could have. I might be
a part of the ace spectrum but I really can't tell.
That's why I had that thought I should get married to Zhongli . I thought it would be nice to dress up like I'm getting married
so I could still experience something like that, and it would be a fun event with my friends. Like I said earlier I don't mean for this to be depressing or
anything . I don't feel much as I type this out, the main focus is that I want to marry Zhongli Genshin Impact which is kind of
sad to say but I like don't care. I want to thrift an outfit and pretend to kiss the cardboard cutout that will be a foot taller
than me as I laugh with my best friends forever.
I'm about to spend a decent amount of money on Zhongli merch soon, unrelated to the marriage, and I think that combined with the
breakup was what put this weird idea into my head in the first place and I just wanted to get this out somewhere.
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